Invading Alberta (Part 2): Operation WestEd

I believe I last left you with our harrowing recon mission into the heart of Edmonton. Well, as I recounted, we made it safely to our base of operations. After a good sleep, Darcie, Keith, and I continued to get a feel for the enemy territory by visiting Whyte Ave and exploring the bizarre stores along there. Keith picked up a rubber chicken key-chain. Don't ask me why. I didn't see how it would help our mission. In fact, if his card was traced we might have even been shot down soon after. Thankfully, I think we had been stealthy enough that Alberta had no idea we were even there.

Emily and Trent were working Thursday, but we saw them Thursday night when they returned and we sharpened our military strategies by playing board games such as Domaine, Ticket to Ride, I'm the Boss, and Puerto Rico (spread out throughout the weekend, of course). Keith really likes board games. I'd rather just chew the little wooden pieces, personally. Sharpen my teeth for when I'm going to have to use them in the war. 

Keith and Trent also practiced their instinctive fighting skills on PlayStation 2 - Tekken 5.

The one area Keith excelled in our intense training was with the giant potato gun Trent had put together in case our base was discovered. Keith was able to get so much power with it that he put a respectable dent in the side of the ammunition shed.

On Friday the real battle begun. Once again it was only Keith, Darcie, and I, but we decided to invade the cultural milestone of Alberta - the West Edmonton Mall. If there was ever a fiercer fight, I haven't heard of it. First we had to find some suitable military clothes for the Albertan environment. Keith wasn't a big fan of the cowboy hats... or anything cowboy, for that matter, but Darcie and I were quite happy to try on the native garb, to pass unnoticed among the enemy. 

 The next point of attack was a giant ship laying in harbor in the middle of the mall. Once we had this conquered, I was sure the rest of the base would fall. I manned the cannon while Darcie oversaw the deck. We ran into a bit of a storm, though, so I had to climb the rigging and adjust the jib. Okay, so I'm not much of a sailor. I am, however, a fighter. I kept my calm while the rest of the crew were frantically scrambling around, and managed to take down three frigates and a whale.



It certainly was an epic battle. By the time we had made it back to shore, though, the enemy were all over us like flies on gingerbread. We needed a plan of escape. I spied with my little eye a Ferrari that I knew would be ideal for our getaway, so we all hopped in and took off. The opposing forces never knew what hit 'em.

Thankfully, we managed to get to a supply post in the mall - an underground RCMP store that had been on the inside for a long time. There we picked up Justice, an RCMP German Shepherd pup. He had only just been trained, but he was all they could afford to give us at that time. I was sure he'll be a valuable addition to our fighting force.

At the same time we met up with an old Sergeant of mine, Sergeant Big Moose. I introduced Keith and Darcie and we had pictures taken with him.

By the end of that day we had quite the army of stuffed animals. As Darcie admitted, the situation had gotten "right out of control." We were trying to stage a guerrilla attack, but with an army this size it would be difficult not to be noticed. Ah well, such is the price of popularity. We had staged a good attack in Operation WestEd. I was hoping Ralph Klein would surrender after that, but little did I know - the worst was yet to come.