Journeying

So, I haven't written much about life at Matthew House yet and I think it is part due to the constant learning and flux that has filled our time here thus far.  I'm coming to realize, however, that this is unlikely to change so I might as well start to document it. :)

We are still awaiting our insurance papers and so remain resident-less. This leaves us in the somewhat awkward position of having a very large home, two children, a lot of things that don't belong to us, and multiple well-known but not-yet-familiar volunteers who come by to help us.  The awkward part is in the helping.  You see, since we don't have others living here and have only had a few "events", the sticky juice spots they scrub off the kitchen floor, the pantry whose contents are falling out they are organizing, the cereal they are vacuuming off of the carpet is largely the mess of my family.  It is a difficult thing to let other people, particularly those you respect and would love to impress, see the underbelly of your life.  I have but a few friends I would feel comfortable letting see the toilet before I've scrubbed it.

I feel like I have been learning this same lesson of community-living for a few years.  When Isaiah was born, it was the first time I really couldn't do things - like vacuum or lift the laundry basket, for six weeks.  When my friend, Diana, would come over, she would do the dishes.  Sometimes she'd wait until I went into the bathroom to start so we could avoid the "No, no, please sit down."  "I don't mind doing them, really." conversation.  It was the first time I had to learn how to let others help me.  When you think about it, our parents have invested a great deal of time training us up to be independent, to do things for ourselves.  We don't know how to ask for help and we feel we're imposing when we do.  This is one of the lessons of living in community - letting others help.  And it is a hard lesson.  It is not easy to let others into the minutia of your life - but evenso, I think the rewards will outstrip the inconvenience by far.

Isaiah playing with his cars by flashlight under our bed


And so, I'm going to let Kim clean out and organize the cleaning supplies closet that I've been meaning to get to for a month, and I'm going to work on my own to-do list and remind myself that this, Matthew House as well as life, is a team effort.